As They Come, We Go

Romance culminates in pragmatism
A solitary stroll at sunrise
The bee dipping into a cucumber blossom
Slipping through murky water as a Beta
Liberation on the underbelly of a cloud

Beauty is found in the nonsensical
We yearn for poetry because it is obtuse,
Meaning vague and altruistic
Words are born for their sound alone
What I speak, is not what you interpret.

Changing the rules of the game for fun.
I need no savior, as no one does
Master of my wits; but I like to make you question
The I Am is deeper than the Inner Core
And what is love, but a desire to know oneself.

Playing with shadows and light
As any artist will declare fervently,
Neither can hold ground without the other.
Yet, I think they are blind too
Seeing is limited by what we think we know.

So what is it that you think you understand?
Your vision is clouded.
I cast a spinner into the ripples of your consciousness
Gently reeling you in, just to see if I can.
Life is a playpen, and my grin mischievous.

Floating on Dust

Beautiful creatures dot the sea
You as they; thee as we
Do you know the beginning?
Really, there is no end.

What is truth but an enigma.
Pieces fall where they will lay
Dripping across the landscape
You are me, we are they.

As feathers blow in the wind
My soul craves simplicity…
The lies humans tell
Tales of a fabricated identity.

My set of rules differ
I see magic in the spark,
The breath that is between.
Do you know where you really live?

I do. I feel you. I inhale you.
You are gorgeous beyond expression.
I attempt to do you justice
In my death, may you flourish.

Slain there, goblets of burgundy.
Insanity they will say.
Ending is an illusion, weep not
Little friends of the sea.

Paint me, stroke by stroke.
Release of imagination, containment
Pretty penny pleasure.
Things that cost are free.

Rebirth

Trace your fingers through my past,
The taste of pain heavy on your tongue.
Ashes of burning dreams piled high.
There are no more tears,
That river has run dry.
Furious winds -
Hate, rage, hope and fear,
Have died down.
A statue of emptiness standing in the middle.
One blade of sweet green grass,
Sprouting at my feet.

Living Beats in Death

I am done, life is lived in the now
The truth is, I have nothing to wait for
You, that one which I seek
Have traced my steps this whole life
I feel my hold on sanity slip
Discipline is for the human
Sweet sigh of relief, she breathes in me
Dandelion kisses in the wind
Drop the lucid moments of this dream
Fingers unfurl; drip, drip, drip
Sand passes, the illusion of a road
Stab my heart, ten swords
Living beats in death
Allowing all to leave, broken open
Dancing on raindrops, skip, skip, skip
She flows through me,
Rages in and rushes out
Hand in hand we meet all todays.

Stages of Healing

There were the years of incomprehensible fear. It danced around my heart; feigning jabs, sardonically laughing, glancing at me over its shoulder as it sauntered away, that wicked little grin lingering. A terror like no other because the lines were not cut and dried; there was no real knowing what was going to happen. Just conjectures of the mind, an effort to prepare me for all possible scenarios. What you expect is much less frightening than a wild terrain of unknown tortures.

Then, there were years of anger and self loathing. Questioning my truth and wondering if the mists of the past hid a reality or an illusion. Learning to know that whatever the structure was, my feelings did matter. Regardless of deliberation or happenstance, the invisible gouges covering me, affected me. And I did not need to feel guilty for that.

Next, the years of being half alive began. This stage has been the hardest for me. I am no longer floating on my back; the dark, murky waters beneath me, monsters beyond imagination swirling down there learning that I am too strong for them. Almost too strong. Every once in a while they catch a fragrant whiff of my blood, they come racing through the darkness ready to consume me. No, those years were filled with panic and bravery. For a warrior like me, these years of new found safety are much more nerve-wracking. Here I sit, in the sand on the shore, those demons can’t touch me anymore, and I don’t know what the fuck to do with myself.

Those years are coming to an end. I now enter the rest of my life. Standing up, slowly I turn around, and I see the beautiful trees inland. I begin to walk towards this magical forest. I used to look over my shoulder, wondering which was more real. Now I realize that they are both real. Which one I inhabit is my choice. And I choose life without fear, abuse and being controlled. My heart swells with love for those beasts whose breath was bated with my scent. There is no limit to the love that can flow through me, if only I allow it.

Sometimes it takes years of being extremely lost and confused after the trepidation ends. But I promise that there is a world beyond your comprehension, and it is waiting to wrap its warm arms around you. It is like no other love you have ever felt. It is the love of the Universe and the love of yourself. Just keeping going.

Find Me

Enter my world, scale my barricade
Tell me that you see me
Swim my moat, knock on my door
Ask to be let in

Don’t turn when I deny
Set up camp
Build a fire
Rap again

I am here, trapped inside
Someone find the key
I buried it out there,
Locked in here

All I want to do is fly
I caress the sky
Come with me
I don’t know how
To let you inside

Employ your clever mind
Open your heart to mine
Climb the tree
To touch the sky
Reach me there,
Up so high

Don’t pull me to you
But leap, and fly